I Remember
by Cerise Murmur
Summary: What was life really like growing up with Bellatrix and Narcissa in the 'Noble House of Black' and was there really anything noble about it? We'll see. Narcissa x Bellatrix, BLACKCEST, Rated M.
1. Dearest Narcissa

**This is just the introduction to a chapter fic that I'm starting about Bella and Cissy and growing up. I don't know how long it's going to be. But, I spologize for the shortness of this first chapter, the next one will be much longer. Until then my loves, **

**Reviews are sexy.**

_

* * *

_

_Dear Cissy, _

_How can it be that these walls only reveal despair and loneliness…these walls that should suck all happiness from within me, should suck the warmth from my soul…cannot remove these haunting thoughts of you? I stare at the gray, and all I can see is the deep gray coldness of your eyes. Oh, but Narcissa, you know how I love the cold. When the frost of these walls bites bitterly into my skin it's like the ice of your fingertips digging into me, welcoming me home…I embrace it, I embrace these stone walls…and this gray, all of this gray, I let it consume me every single day. The air that I breathe is because of the promise that when I return I can have the real cold of your eyes and your touch, instead of this…this disgusting excuse. I try not to think about the warmth, I can't for fear I would go insane with longing…but Narcissa, love, don't forget me here, locked up. I hope you await my return as eagerly as I await my escape, and if not, then I fear I must return to something far colder than anything you could have promised me. Until we meet again, my love, keep me in your thoughts, for you are always in mine. _

_All my love, _

_Bella. _

As I read the words tears started flowing down my face, they caught eagerly to the paper I was holding, struggling to pierce it's strength with their salty despair. The words bled and contorted, I felt an echo of my inner turmoil. When I read her words I could almost hear her voice, straining to keep the softness out, but wanting so badly to make it known. I knew it was there, I could feel it, even though she was so far away. It was only in front of me that she ever showed any weakness, I knew this, because she confided it in me. I remembered days gone by when I was young and I would catch her staring at me through dinner, a small smile playing at her lips, her fork digging absentmindedly into her food. I remember how mysterious she seemed to me then, how utterly captivating she was. I wanted to figure her out, I felt like she was a puzzle…one that I just had to figure out. I just didn't know that I would fall in love with the game.

_Bella, Bella, how I love you…_

I couldn't bring myself to write a reply…I didn't know what to say or how to put my feelings on paper…I could just send her these murmurs, and hope that they penetrated the darkness surrounding her in that dreadful place.

_Bella…I will never forget. _


	2. In The Family

**This chapter isn't what I expected it to be...but you know...once I start writing...I just go with it. Anyway, I'm going to be with family for a few days. Which actually means I should get A LOT more writing in than I usually do. So. ;] Next chapter up soon.**

**Reviews are sexy.**

**

* * *

  
**

"Cissy darling, come here…" Bella's voice drifted through the paper thin walls and into my room, I smiled, her supple voice pulling me from the trance I was in. I set my book down and pushed myself up from the desk. Potions could wait…Bella was calling.

I glanced at the mirror on my wall briefly as I walked out, pulling a strand behind my ear as I did so. _She likes to see my eyes. _My hand timorously reached out and grasped the cool metal of her doorknob, mentally preparing myself for what lie on the other side.

_What are you afraid of? _Came the silent utterance, _It's just your sister, she probably only wants to talk to you about something silly…the family…her boyfriend…_

I pushed the door inward and glanced up, a minute smirk crossing my lips as I saw her sprawled out on her bed, her feet towards the ceiling and her arm lazily brushing the floor. I pushed the smirk away almost the second it formed, walking in and closing the door.

"Yes?" I asked at the mass of black hair and the insipid arm.

"Come here, love." She said amiably, I was taken aback. Bella? Being sweet? Impossible.

I walked over and sat on the edge of her bed, sighing as I sank into the yielding mattress.

I looked at her, her black eyes wide and open, her smile small, yet significant. I gave her a questioning look.

"Did mother ever tell you about our family, Cissy?" she asked, her voice hardening a little bit, but still remaining surprisingly soft.

"Well…I know, like, who our ancestors are and stuff…what else is there?" I was curious now, and staring into her eyes like I would be able to find the answers buried in them before she would tell me.

"Yeah, but, what did our ancestors _do?_" a smirk graced her lips the second the words were out.

"Oh…I don't know…" I answered honestly, having no idea where she was going with this.

"Odd, mother told me when I was your age…" her eyes clouded as she looked up, as if trying to remember something.

"Yes…yes, it was my first year of Hogwarts, and she told me as I was getting on the train." She looked back at me, I felt a vivacious excitement rise up within me at the mention of Hogwarts, but I pushed it away when I saw the stern look she was giving me.

"You'll be a Syltherin." She said, running her hand down my arm, her eyes fixed on my pale hair and even paler skin.

"How do you know that?" I asked, even though I believed her…and I couldn't say the thought of being in Syltherin wasn't thrilling, for some reason it was always the house I was most drawn too.

"Our family isn't the Gryffindor type, Narcissa…not at all." Her smiled widened, as she once again recalled a memory that I couldn't be a part of.

"What do you mean?" I didn't know that the houses had "types" I just knew that Bella was in Syltherin and that I wanted to be in the same house as her. I also knew that Bella detested Gryffindor.

"Gryffindor is for mudbloods and mudblood lovers" she spat, her nose flaring at the word, as if it has burned her.

I gasped, "there are people who like mudbloods?" my eyes were wide, I had never felt so ignorant to the world, I felt like I had so much to learn about everyone and everything around me.

"Yes. And Ravenclaw…Well, we get along with them, they're all smart, you see…"

"And Hufflepuff, what a useless bunch, don't associate with them." She looked down at me, stroking my cheek at the bemused look I had plastered on my face.

"And Syltherin?" I asked, afraid to know what the answer might be.

"We have a reputation for being bad…really really bad, and our family especially…we're known for it."

"How bad, Bella?" a frown forming, even though the idea of our family being bad sent a warm tingle down my spine.

"I expect you'll find out soon enough love, now run along, train leaves bright and early tomorrow, and you'll want to be well rested…the first train ride is always the most exciting" she winked at me coyly and I smiled, the anticipation already sparkling in my stomach. Hogwarts…finally, after 5 years of watching Bella come and go filled to bursting with stories of the people she had met and the spells she had learned. I was always so envious. But now I would know those stories…hopefully I would be _part_ of them. I started to push myself off of the bed, a smile still fixed to my face.

"Good night, Bella" I murmured, walking briskly to the door.

I turned to smile at her one last time before I shut the door softly behind me.

Tomorrow would be the day my life would change…forever.


	3. Snogging 101

**Nom'. New chapter up soon!**

**Reviews are Sexy.**

* * *

I stared in awe at the scarlet engines and the billowing smoke that lay before me…never before has this train looked so much like home…but yet so unknown.

Bella nudged my shoulder and beckoned me to follow her. I did so readily, having no idea where to go once I got on the train. She led me through the people and the carts of luggage as if they were always in the exact same place and she had had practice navigating through them many times. I couldn't deny it, Bella had style.

We reached a door near the end of the train and she gracefully tugged herself up, not stopping once she got in to wait for me. I had a little more trouble, being 6 years younger than her, meant I was at least a foot shorter. I sighed, hoisting myself up with great difficultly, but finally managing the task.

Once I got inside I looked up, fully expecting her to be gone and me left having no idea where to sit. To my immense surprise she was standing the corridor about ten feet in front of me, her hands on her hips and an irritated frown on her face…but did I catch a glimpse of amusement in those black eyes?

Once she saw I was up and walking again, she turned with a flourish of emerald robes and continued down the corridor, shoving anyone smaller than her…and even some bigger, out of the way.

I was small, I didn't need to shove, I just scurried past when the people were still turned sideways, scowling at her back. I felt a smirk cross my face at their misfortune for running into Bella that day.

Finally, she stopped at a door, she looked hesitantly inside for a moment and then beamed widely, throwing herself inside and squealing at whomever she encountered. I heard rushed words coming from the room, I didn't know whether I should enter…or not.

I took a few steps forward, pulling myself closer to this mysterious compartment and its mysterious occupant. As I neared, the talking stopped; in fact…I didn't hear anything, only a slight rustle of robes as a leg moved…or maybe an arm.

I peaked my head around the corner and saw black curls and pale hands…but…the hands weren't Bella's. They were long and slender…almost translucent. They were clutching at Bella's robes and pulling Bella into them.

For a moment my childhood innocence overtook me and I wondered what in the world was happening. But then I heard it…a small popping noise followed by a even more pronounced sucking one…and I realized…I gasped, backing out of the compartment, my eyes wide with shock.

Bella was snogging someone? With me only feet behind her? I was frozen, not sure what to do or where to go…I didn't want Bella to turn around and accuse me of spying. Just when I was about to turn and chance my luck at a random compartment I heard the same popping noise and then Bella was looking at me…and so was..._she?_ Bella was snogging a girl?

Her cerulean eyes turned to me, piercing in their beauty, and even more piercing when contrasted with her sleek burgundy hair that fell elegantly over her face. I saw those long, slender fingers go up into insipid, freckled arms, silver and black robes covering them.

My mouth must have been open…that's why Bella must have started laughing at me, looping her fingers through the girls as she did. I was still trying to wrap my brain around everything. It didn't…freak me out…It didn't disgust me; quite the contrary, I found it quite sweet. Sweet and surprising.

"This is Eve" she said, beckoning me into the compartment with her free hand. I came in, shutting the door behind me, and sitting across from them, feeling the action to be quite awkward. I felt like I should be leaving them alone…why did Bella even want to talk to me? I was just a stupid first year, and her younger sister to top it off. I acknowledged that, even expected to be ignored…but to be included in anything? It was wonderful…but again…there's that word, surprising. I guess Hogwarts was bound to be full of surprises…I only hoped most of them were as pleasant as the firsts.

"Eve, this is my little sister, Narcissa." Bella looked at me, smiling tenderly; Eve smiled too, revealing perfect white teeth. "Nice to meet you" she said, her voice reminded me of water…it was so smooth; it flowed into my brain so nicely. I instantly understood why Bella was with her. She would take no less than perfection.

"Nice to meet you too" I smiled back, feeling embarrassed about my voice and my smile compared to her…in most cases I was beautiful, but compared to her I was just…_average._

There was that silence again.

Again I felt the question arise in me, should I stay…or should I go?

Bella turned to Eve as if she had entirely forgotten I was there. "I missed you so much." She murmured, planting a small kiss on Eve's red, full lips.

I was stunned; I had never heard Bella be sweet to anyone…not even me. I felt a flare of jealously surge within me, but I pushed it away, scolding myself silently. I turned away, looking at the foggy window for a distraction.

"And I missed you." I heard Eve's silky voice, and then that silence again…that silence filled with the heat of a thousand suns and the burning of a thousand hearts on fire.

I knew I shouldn't look…I really knew I should respect them and their privacy…but one little peak…they wouldn't notice…would they? If I was snogging someone…I wouldn't notice.

I turned my head slightly and looked at them…this time seeing both of them instead of just Bella. Their lips were attached so fiercely I wondered how they were moving their mouths at all. But they were, I saw a glimpse of Bella's tongue as they pulled apart for a split second for air. I couldn't take my eyes away…for one, I had never seen a kiss this intense before…I had never even seen a kiss apart from the little ones my mother and father gave each other. But this…it was so intense I could feel it from where I was sitting. I felt a small fluttering in my stomach as I watched their lips, the feeling was unknown, so I pushed it away, moving my gaze up to Bella's closed eyes…her hand tangling in Eve's fiery hair, her breasts heaving with breath…her jaw bone moving with Eve's.

I tore my glance away finally, my face red and my palms sweaty. I felt tainted…I felt…everything, and at the same time I had no idea what I was feeling. But whatever just happened…well; it made me not feel so little anymore.

i


	4. Hot For Teacher

**Oh, goody, and now to the smut. **

**Reviews are sexy.**

* * *

"Bella! Bella, wake up!" I shook what I thought was a shoulder in excitement, wanting to tell her the news I had just heard.

She groaned and rolled over, causing another shriek to come from under the covers.

"Shit, sorry." Was Bella talking to herself? I looked at the emerald covers in confusion, seeing nothing but a lump that seconds before I had assumed was Bella curled into a ball.

But then the lump started moving, and it wasn't one mass…but two. I backed up a few paces, until I saw fire red hair and a pale arm emerge from the covers. Eve? I watched her climb out of the bed, she was obviously unaware that I was standing right there…I had my mouth open to alert her of my presence, but my breath caught as a pale, slim body wriggled out the sheets. Smooth, milky breasts were revealed as was a small waist and succulent hips. I could feel that my mouth was hanging open.

"Come on, love." She giggled, ripping the covers off of Bella.

My gasp was audible now, as I saw Bella's naked body sprawled on the bed, completely flawless, and intoxicatingly beautiful.

Eve spun around at the sound of my gasp, a look of horror passing her face as she saw that I had been standing there the whole time.

"It's just my sister, Eve." Bella said nonchalantly from the bed, waving her wrist dismissively in my direction. I still could not take my eyes off of her. I had never imagined that anything could be so beautiful. The fact that she was my sister didn't even cross my mind until Eve gave me a disgusted look, grabbing a robe from Bella's bed and wrapping it tightly around herself.

Bella however made no move to grab a robe or even to pull the covers back over herself. She just lay there, leisurely stretching her long limbs.

"I'm going to go take a shower." Eve said, an odd expression on her face, "care to join me?" she asked again, casting a disapproving look at me.

"In a moment, love, I think my dear sister has something to tell me." she glanced at me, cocking her head to one side. Eve nodded and with a flourish of her robes she was out the door.

I still couldn't stop looking at her, except that now it was significantly more awkward since she had cast her dark eyes on me.

"Come here." She said, patting the bed next to her. I did as she said and sat lightly on the bed, as far from her as possible, not even being able to be near her for fear I would reach out and touch a plane of her smooth skin.

"I won't bite." She said, running her hand up my arm, sending an enormous shiver up my spine.

"Unless you want me to?" she arched her eyebrow at me, and followed my gaze, noticing how it was still on her breasts…her hips…her…I shook my head, trying to look at anything else but her.

"I…" I wasn't sure how to respond to that.

"Are you jealous?" she asked, running her pale finger down her side, down her perfect curves and then back up to her rounded, flawless breasts.

She thought I was jealous?

I nodded, for fear if I said no that she might be disgusted with me.

"You'll have them soon enough, love. You are quite lovely, you'll have the boys swooning over you in no time." Her hand circled her breasts, coming to a stop where her small pink nipple lay.

"Thanks, Bella…" I murmured, when I noticed that she stopped. I wanted nothing more than for her to continue touching her breasts like that.

"Have you ever been with a man before?" her finger continued to move, this time running over her nipple, I saw it harden just as I felt an unfamiliar fluttering in my stomach.

"No. I've never even been kissed…" I rested my hand on the bed next to her, her eyes following it and then floating back to my eyes, her fingers moving down her toned stomach now.

"Do you know how to kiss?" she asked, the finger stopping at her bellybutton and starting to make small circles.

"Well…it doesn't seem that hard. But I do get nervous when I think about it."I felt like in that moment I couldn't lie to her…of course I was scared, I was bloody terrified…but having her here, next to me, was almost as scary.

"Do you want to learn?" her finger moved lower.

"I…I…well…yes…" I wasn't sure what she was asking me, but I dearly wanted to find out.

"Kiss me, I'll tell you if you do it right." She raised an eyebrow at me, licking her lips as she did so.

I felt that pull in my stomach again. "Bella?" I asked, confusion bubbling up and overtaking my brain.

She sighed, "Kiss me." She said again, this time more sure.

My heart was beating at an impossible rate, my hands were shaking, my lips were shaking…there was not one part of me that wasn't screaming in terror.

My arm lowered, my face was inches from hers, my heart beat ever faster as I took a breath….and I plunged.

My lips met hers with a shock of electricity, I pressed into her with a certainty that could only come from being scared out of your mind. But…now what? I didn't know what to do, my lips were against hers and it was beautiful, I never wanted it to stop, but she was probably bored.

She answered me by tangling her hand in my hair and pulling me deeper into her, her tongue flicking against my lips, I opened them, tasting her for the first time. I felt a small moan escape her lips, but I didn't dare open my eyes, I just wanted to keep tasting her. I reached a shaking hand forward and rested it on her shoulder, feeling her soft skin and her heaving breath. Her tongue was moving in my mouth with such a beautiful certainty that it just made me love her even more.

An eternity passed and I finally was able to tell what was going to around me, I felt the bed rocking slightly, and her moans were building in intensity. I didn't know if I should be moaning too…I didn't know what I was doing that was so good, but I cupped her face in my hand and pulled myself closer into her, tasting her beauty, her soul.

After a while the small moans that were once spread out seemed to be merging together, and the hand that was tangled in my hair was gripping tighter and tighter, and then…what happened next I wasn't sure…she suddenly pulled away and gave a high pitched moan, her body shaking against mine as she collapsed into me, my eyes were swimming with dots at the sudden exposure to light and my mind was cloudy with confusion.

"Bella?" I asked, she was panting, her face resting against my shoulder, "Yes?" she gasped, moving slightly and then bringing her hand up to her face. It was shiny, I gave her a puzzled look, she raised the finger to her lips and slid it slowly into her mouth, I don't know why, but it was incredibly sexy.

"You are a good kisser, by the way." She said, her breath slowing to normal.

"I guess so…" I said, smiling at her, running my fingers through her hair. "Thank you for showing me how."

"I'll show you something better next time." She said, her eyes darkening a shade.

"Okay, next time." I echoed, my mind racing to form the possibilities.

This year was going to be a good one after all.


End file.
